Mom & Dad

To : Mom & Dad

I’ve never learnt how to express myself…or to tell things directly…

But I want to let you know this part of my life…
I still remember promising mom that I will live my life to the fullest…
And promises always meant so much to me…

I want to let you know that I have been searching for a partner in life…
And that I have been preparing myself to settle down…
You may think that I should get a job before settling down…
But to me settling down means I can focus on my career…my family and my life…

I have been saving very hard…
Because I want to know how it feels like…
To give up what you need or want…
Like what you have been always doing for a son…


I never knew if you acknowledged her (cylysce)
Because you always address her as my “friend”
When I so much wanted to tell you’ll that she is a potential daughter in-law…
Now I can only tell and hope that you will acknowledge the next one…
She taught me and I’ve learnt so many things throughout these 3 years in life…
And I realized I haven’t seen much in life…and I want to know why…
I want to step out and socialize…
It is not her fault… but I just chose to give ourselves a chance…
To see convince myself to see if she’s really the one…
Believe me that she is my first serious relationship…
And I promise it will always be serious…
And I always give all I’ve got...
The next time if we really get together…
Then I will really want to marry her…

I’ve been saving so hard for the trip…
Because I told myself not to rely on you…
I’ve promised myself to bring her there…
And promises meant I can now only bring her as a friend…
I never thought about the money I saved…
Because promises & trust in life meant much more to me…
And it’s how I am and always leading my life…

I hope that you can realize…
That I have grown so much…
That I am no longer the small little son…
When you always think I am one…
Maybe because I have never said it out…
That’s why you never understand…
When ever I need guidance…I don’t know how to ask for one…
But somehow I’ve always managed to get things done…

I feel like I have disappointed everyone…
And I don’t know how to say it…
That’s why I can only type this letter in hope you can understand
A small tiny portion of my life…
Rest assured that I will still be leading my own way of life…
To keep my promises alive…